Still Missing You

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore, but I check it all the time. I love looking at pictures of Grandma and remembering all the amazing things about her. I've been having lots of dreams about her lately...she's always in her 60's for some reason. =) I guess she makes sure that she's still young, even in my dreams. I don't know if this sounds crazy, but I truly believe she can and does watch over us in different ways. The other night I was sleeping and heard her voice...then I woke up and felt like she was hugging me. For a split second I had forgotten that she's gone, and it was so nice to feel her hugs again. I think about her everyday and I am missing her so much. I am happy for her that I didn't get my way because I know she's in a better place, but I wish I could've held on just a little longer. I think about Dayton and this new little baby in my belly and my heart breaks when I think of them not even knowing who this wonderful Grandma was. I won't get to hear her rock my little newborn to sleep singing "beautiful". It's still so hard to digest. She'd be so mad that I'm allergic to pasta! I'm such a bad italian!
So anyway, for those of you who do read this...I'm sorry for making you cry! I just needed to get this all out.
Grandma, I love you so much and I'm so thankful to have had you in my life! You will always be a part of me and please continue to haunt me. =) Dreams of you give me peace and make me remember all the good times we've had.

Mothers day is coming

Yesterday I was thinking about mothers day. I've never had a mothers day without my mother. I've heard that all the 1st holidays is hard.
I was driving down to Kalispell one day, the rest of the car was sleeping and I was singing. I just started singing all the songs I could think of. Many of the scripture songs I grew up on. I like to keep them in my memory. Then I started singing beautiful. It's bad to cry and drive in the same time! That will always be a hard song to sing now, without crying.