Friday, May 30, 2008

Dear Grandma

I've just been thinking about you alot lately....I miss you. I know you are having a great time in heaven but sometimes I just want you back. It still doesn't seem real that you are not here. I don't want to forget anything about you. I don't want Eric to forget you. The other day he asked me to sing Beautiful and as I sang it I could here your wonderful voice singing along with me.
I was watching a show tonight about this Italian girl who had her Italian grandam with her. Her grandma kept trying to feed all the people around her breakfast and it just reminded me of you, always making sure everyone was taken care of and most of all, fed:-)

I'm so proud to be your grandaughter and be related to such a wonderful, strong women with such a kind, caring heart.

I love you

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's day

I know Grandma isn't here but I wanted to wish her a Happy Mother's day anyway. I miss you Grandma and wish you were here to spend today with us! Happy MOther's day!You were a wonderful mother to all!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Still Missing You

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore, but I check it all the time. I love looking at pictures of Grandma and remembering all the amazing things about her. I've been having lots of dreams about her lately...she's always in her 60's for some reason. =) I guess she makes sure that she's still young, even in my dreams. I don't know if this sounds crazy, but I truly believe she can and does watch over us in different ways. The other night I was sleeping and heard her voice...then I woke up and felt like she was hugging me. For a split second I had forgotten that she's gone, and it was so nice to feel her hugs again. I think about her everyday and I am missing her so much. I am happy for her that I didn't get my way because I know she's in a better place, but I wish I could've held on just a little longer. I think about Dayton and this new little baby in my belly and my heart breaks when I think of them not even knowing who this wonderful Grandma was. I won't get to hear her rock my little newborn to sleep singing "beautiful". It's still so hard to digest. She'd be so mad that I'm allergic to pasta! I'm such a bad italian!
So anyway, for those of you who do read this...I'm sorry for making you cry! I just needed to get this all out.
Grandma, I love you so much and I'm so thankful to have had you in my life! You will always be a part of me and please continue to haunt me. =) Dreams of you give me peace and make me remember all the good times we've had.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Mothers day is coming

Yesterday I was thinking about mothers day. I've never had a mothers day without my mother. I've heard that all the 1st holidays is hard.
I was driving down to Kalispell one day, the rest of the car was sleeping and I was singing. I just started singing all the songs I could think of. Many of the scripture songs I grew up on. I like to keep them in my memory. Then I started singing beautiful. It's bad to cry and drive in the same time! That will always be a hard song to sing now, without crying.

Friday, January 4, 2008


My grandma used to sing this song to all of us grandkids, and even as I got older she would sing it all the time. When Dayton was born she sang it to him, and now I sing it to him all the time. Right before she died I was trying to get Dayton to sleep and I started singing it...she was asleep and I thought she was out of it, but she woke up just long enough to say, "Oh that is so beautiful April, keep singing." And that is what I'm going to do. I will sing it to my kids, and grandkids, and maybe someday they will play it at my memorial service too. So here it's short and sweet, but it will forever have a special place in my heart.

"Beautiful, Beautiful, Jesus is Beautiful
And Jesus makes beautiful things in my life.
Carefully, touching me, causing my eyes to see,
Jesus makes beautiful things in my life."

I think she always believed that Jesus would make beautiful things of her life...and boy did He ever! I pray that God would touch the lives around me just like He did with people that came in contact with her. She is so missed!